


Of Aching and Longing

by Syrum



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Afterlife, Angst, Character Death, F/M, FTAngstWeek, Fairy Tail Angst Week, Idiots in Love, M/M, Memory Loss, Mind Control, Nightmares, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Psychological Torture, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-06-06 00:44:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6730447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Syrum/pseuds/Syrum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A chapter a day for the Fairy Tail Angst Week 2016!  Different pairings per chapter, but as they are drabbles I didn't want to post them separately as they're too short for the most part.</p><p>Day one - prompt 'silence' - Gray/Natsu<br/>Day two - prompt 'spellbound' - Juvia/Gray<br/>Day three - prompt 'family' - Hints of Freed/Laxus<br/>Day four - prompt 'smothered' - Gajeel/Levy<br/>Day five - prompt 'past' - Gray/Natsu<br/>Day six - prompt 'nightmare' - Erza/Jellal</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Silence

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, yeah, I'm a bit late...in my defence I only found this today! I'll get caught up though.

_I love you._

He had been meaning to say it for far too long, too many years. They had stood together, fought together, laughed together and cried together. They had hated one another to start off with, their arguments enough to topple buildings, fists becoming well-versed with faces far too regularly. Regularly enough, in fact, that the guild had tried to separate them, keep them apart, to minimise the damage to the guild hall as much as to each other.

It hadn’t worked, of course. Even back then, even when both had felt little more than a frustrated fury at seeing the other, they could not be kept apart. Did not _want_ to be kept apart. Their friendship, it seemed, had been cemented long before one had met the other. Predestined, perhaps, if either wished to believe that nonsense.

_I love you._

They were a team, the four of them. Well, the four of them and Happy, he thought with a small, wry smile that held no mirth. Erza, the impenetrable force and moral compass. Lucy, stronger than she gave herself credit for, the heart of their group. Natsu, loyal to a fault. And Gray, with a strength of will stronger than anyone. They fought together, against insurmountable odds, somehow always managing to pull through. It happened so frequently, in fact, that they had almost started to believe that they were invincible, that it could go on like that forever. Almost.

_I love you._

The little Exceed clung to him, face pressed into the damp fabric of his black shirt, denial still coursing through him. Happy had not spoken a word all day, and no one tried to force a reply from the usually jovial cat, watching him with sad eyes and heavy hearts as he allowed himself to be carried without complaint.

The soft pitter-patter of rain drowned out all save the rustling of leaves, intensifying with a fervour that he knew, they all knew, was not natural. Water streaked down his cheeks, both hot and cold, hair flattened against his head, water destroying the soft spikes it usually held. The hole in his chest ached more with each passing second, and he had never felt quite so alone, despair rolling off him in waves as he stared down at the little headstone.

_I love you._

It was too small. The tiny, carved lump of marble that did not - could not - portray the essence of the person beneath it. Nothing could, he knew, yet the very size of the thing spiked his anger. He wanted to break it, to shatter it into a thousand pieces, to deny that such a thing was needed. Or to replace it with something bigger, something grand, yet he knew nothing would do. Nothing would be right. Nothing, save having him back by his side, alive and well.

_I love you._

“Why?” The rain had washed into the freshly dug dirt at his feet, soil turning to mud that splashed up his thighs as he fell to his knees. “You stupid, _stupid_ -” A sob cut him off, and he swallowed it down, eyes squeezing shut against the sting of tears that would not stop falling. Had not, it seemed, since he held the body of his friend in his arms, lifeless and limp and far too cold.

“I loved you.” He sucked in a hiccuping cough, swallowing against the rising bile. “Love you. Selfish bastard, why couldn’t you at least let me tell you that much? Why-” He felt Happy shift in his arms, the soft sound of sobbing reaching his ears and he held the Exceed tighter still. “Why did you have to leave? Did you think I’d be able to manage without you?” Not that he had been given much of a choice, really. No, that choice had been taken from him almost a week prior, when he had lost everything he had ever loved.

* * *

_“Hey, Natsu?”_

_“Not chickening out on me now are you, Snowflake?” Natsu grinned over at his friend-come-rival, mirth sparking in his olive eyes. Gray simply huffed out a laugh and punched his friend in the arm, not quite hard enough to bruise, sporting a grin of his own._

_“Not a chance, flame-brain. I just wanted to talk to you about something is all.” He had thought he might be nervous, and perhaps he was - just a little - yet there was something about being around Natsu that put him at ease, even with something like this and he wondered why he had waited for so long._

_“Can it wait? We’re missing all the good stuff!” He could say no, could ask Natsu to wait, to listen. Yet, the excitement in the dragon slayer’s voice, layered into his expression, was simply too much. There was no way Gray could deny him this. Besides, he had put it off for years, another few hours wouldn’t hurt._

_“Yeah.” Gray replied with a chuckle. “Yeah, I guess it can.” Already three paces ahead, bouncing a little in his excitement, Natsu turned to his friend with a smirk._

_“Race ya!”_

* * *

“I love you.” Forehead pressed up against the cool, wet marble of the headstone placed above the body of his best friend, the only thing truly holding him upright, Gray wept openly, body shaking as sobs wracked his pale form. “Natsu, I need you to come back, I can’t-”

The only reply, was silence.


	2. Spellbound

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I feel the need to say before we get started, I don't actually like the gruvia pairing. I love Juvia, don't get me wrong, I'm not hating on her. I just much prefer her with Lyon than Gray, because holyhell those two are cute together!
> 
> So why write gruvia? Because it worked for the idea I had, and to be honest I just really, really wanted to write me some Juvia. She gets a bit TOO much hate in fic, and I'm trying to balance that out a bit, make her more human. This is done on an hour and a half's sleep and may contain glaring omissions, just to warn you XD

“Look, Juvia, I’m _sorry._ Please don’t cry.” His hand on her head, warm and comforting in all the worst ways, and the tears simply would not stop. They spilled over, trickling down her cheeks to mingle with the rainwater as the downpour only intensified. “I know how much you think of me, and I wish I could feel the same, but I just don’t. I can’t _force_ myself to love you back, it doesn’t work that way.”

“B-but Juvia loves-s o-only Gray-sama.” The words tumbled free, stuttered and jarring from the hitching sobs she made no effort to suppress. Why should she? It wasn’t as though it made any difference.

“Which is why you need to find someone else, someone actually worthy of your love.” It wasn’t the first time Gray had told her this, rejected her advances so openly. Sometimes it was in public, loud rejections triggered by anger as her at times unacceptable behaviour tipped him over the edge. Sometimes, like then, it was in the quiet not-quite privacy of a deserted street. It hurt, regardless of the method, but at least out there she had the privacy of anonymity.

“But Gray-sama _i-is_ worthy.” The protest earned her nothing but a small, sad smile. She had been so certain for so long that he could grow to love her, and she knew she was too over the top in her affection for the ice mage, but somehow she could not help herself. He did care for her, she knew as much else he would not stand in her downpour and stroke her hair thus, his own heart breaking at the pain he was causing her. But that wasn’t love. At least, not the love she wanted.

“I meant, someone who can return your feelings. You deserve to be treated like a princess, Juvia. You deserve someone who can adore you as much as you adore them, and I’m just not that person. I’m sorry.” He had done nothing but apologise, but it had not helped. The gulping cries would not abate, and Juvia _knew_ he had nothing to be sorry for; this was all on her. He could not love her, could never love her as she did him, and she did not blame him for it.

_‘Poor child.’_ The rain had stopped, though Juvia had not stilled it herself. Emotions as they were, it should still be falling upon them, though both were already drenched to the skin. _‘Poor, sweet child. Does it hurt?’_ No, Juvia realised a moment too late, the rain hadn’t stopped as much as it had simply _paused._ It hung in the air, frozen where it fell, and when she glanced up at Gray she saw that he was much the same, held frozen in space. In _time._ Leaves in the trees had stilled, and there was no sound save the roar in her own ears and the odd voice in her head.

“Who are you?” Pulling away from the hand that had rested upon her hair, Juvia moved to put herself between her static beloved and the disembodied voice in her mind, wherever the source might be hiding. It seemed to be laughing at her, and she swiped away the tears angrily, dislodging the hanging droplets of rainwater wherever she moved. They gathered on her, soaking into her clothes and skin, breaking the spell for those few only.

_‘Don’t worry, little one. I mean neither you or your lovely boyfriend no harm.’_ Space seemed to shift, and from the gap it created a form appeared, taking shape. The woman smiled and Juvia blanched, seeing her own face, her own visage.

“Who are you? What do you want?” Juvia cursed herself for the tremble in her voice, more a remnant of her tears than any actual fear, though it was still there and she hated to show such weakness. The woman, her doppelganger, stepped forward until she was close enough to reach out and touch, if Juvia so wished.

_‘I have heard your pain, pretty one, I have come to soothe it.’_ The doppelganger shifted to stare over her shoulder, eyes raking over Gray with no small amount of disdain. It made the hairs on the back of Juvia’s neck stand up, anger prickling. _‘I heard what he said, child. I have felt the pain he has caused you, and I can make it better.’_ It paused, smiling softly. _‘If you wish it.’_

“Juvia does not understand. What are you offering?” A hand reached out to brush a stray lock of dripping wet hair from her face, and to Juvia’s credit she did not flinch, did not recoil. The hand of the stranger was cold, she noted, like ice.

_‘I offer what no more or less than what that man has said you deserve; someone to treat you like a princess, to love you unconditionally, worship you. Is that not what you want? I can show him what it is to love you. Your love, your ‘Gray-sama’, he himself wishes to return your feelings - did he not say so? Do you not want to grant him his wish?’_

“Juvia-” She paused for a moment, swallowing down her own unease. The stranger, this creature, was not wrong - Gray had indeed said that he wished he could love her, so perhaps this is what he would want? Should she ask him? “Why would you do this for Juvia?”

_‘To see you happy, my child. To give you what you desire. And in return…’_ The creature paused at that, seeming to think, before clapping its hands together with a look of glee. _‘In return, when you pass on to the next life, you shall keep me company a while. It is so lonely here, I should very much enjoy your company.’_

“Alright, what does Juvia need to do?” As soon as the words left her mouth, Juvia regretted them. Hands colder than ice pressed against her hand, blade sharp against her skin, drawing a line of red through her flesh that welled up immediately. Juvia snatched her hand back with a sharp cry, and the doppelganger simply grinned. She blinked, and it was gone, the rain continuing to fall around her, hand stinging from the slash across her palm.

_‘It is done.’_ The voice mocked in her head, cruelty evident in the dark tone. It sounded less like her now, deeper, far older than her own lilting voice. Turning, Juvia found Gray staring at her, drenched to the bone, deep blue eyes glazed over and lifeless.

“Gray-sama?” She could sense something, the swirl of magic as old as the ages, clamping down around them. It dug its claws in, almost enough to hurt, tying itself to her soul, _their_ souls.

“What do you wish of me, my princess?” She swallowed down the rising bile; he was looking at her, straight at her, yet she knew he did not see her. The man standing before her was not Gray, not any more, entirely spellbound by the old, forbidden magic of the curse. She looked into his eyes and saw nothing, no real recognition, the spark gone. _Gray_ was gone.

“This is not what Juvia wanted.” Letting out a low cry of despair, she turned on her heel, searching fruitlessly for the long-gone creature who had sealed their deal with her blood. Her hand stung and her head swam, pulse pounding incessantly in her ears. “This is not what Juvia wanted!” Her scream went unanswered, save for the cold, lifeless arms that wrapped around her shoulders.


	3. Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's not _quite_ true to canon, but...well, I wanted pain, so I wrote pain.

_“Please, stop. It-” Swallowing down bile and blood, body wracked with pained shudders, it was all he could do to remain upright. Seated in that oversized chair, wrists and ankles strapped into place with bindings so tight he would bruise from it. “It hurts, please Fa-” The slap of flesh hitting flesh reverberated across the room, effectively silencing his agonising pleas. He felt the slice of metal and stone against his cheek, the sharp ring gauging a deep cut across his cheekbone, as the back of his father’s hand caused his head to snap to one side._

_“Weak, pathetic.” His father sneered, the hand which had hit him clenching into a tight fist, knuckles turning white under the pressure. “We stop when I say we stop, do you understand me?” What choice did he have? He bit down on the next pained moan, as his body was again assaulted with power it had no use for and did not know what to do with. “Answer me, boy!”_

_“Y-yes, sir.” When the next rolling wave of agony came, he bit down, tasting blood._

* * *

“Laxus?” Freed shot Evergreen a look of concern when the blonde did not respond, eyes distant and expression contorted into a frown. Ever shook her head minutely, warning him - if not with words - to leave it be. She slid from her seat, wandering over to the bar to sit with Cana and Mira for a while, knowing better than to antagonise the lightning dragon slayer when he was in one of those moods. Even Bickslow was nowhere to be seen, having thought up some lame excuse on the spot that morning as soon as he had seen the expression on Laxus’ face.

Not that she could blame him. It was Bickslow who came off worst, the last time he had worn that look.

“Hey, Laxus?” Despite his better judgement, Freed slid around to the other side of the table, taking a seat next to his far larger friend. Laxus had not so much as touched his drink, which was unusual in itself. It was a mistake, he realised a moment too late, to place what he had hoped was a comforting hand upon Laxus’ shoulder. The blonde span in his seat, eyes narrowed and lips curled up in a snarl, and for one short moment Freed was certain the fist flying around towards him was about to impact with his face.

“Freed?” The fist stopped, uncurled, lingering in the air for several long seconds before dropping down into Laxus’ lap. He looked so lost, it was enough to make Freed’s heart clench in his chest, even as adrenaline continued to surge through him from the near miss.

“Yeah, it’s me.” A quick glance around the room assured him that no one was watching them, pointedly _avoiding_ them really, and he slid a little closer on the bench so that he might take Laxus’ hand within his own without it seeming too obvious as to what he was doing, giving it a small squeeze. “Did you want to talk about it?”

“No, s’fine.” Laxus had flinched at the contact, before squeezing back, holding on to the smaller hand as though it were a lifeline, and Freed knew things certainly were not ‘fine’. “Just not been sleeping, is all. Had some messed-up dreams, you know?”

“Yeah.” Freed offered a reassuring smile, and received a small quirk of lips in return, though the expression could not touch the darkness that had settled over Laxus’ gaze. “Yeah, I understand.” He paused for a moment, feeling Laxus beginning to slip away again, gaze fixed on the polished tabletop and fingers loosening. “If you ever want to talk. About anything. We’re family, right?” 

_“What use is ‘family’? You’re a tool to be used, boy. Nothing more.”_

“Yeah, family.” Laxus swallowed, Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat, and Freed did not miss the slight flinch. “Listen, I’m gonna head out, this place is giving me a headache.” Unlikely, given the time of day and considering how few patrons had arrived to disrupt the mid-morning peace, yet Freed was not about to call him out on it. If Laxus wanted to leave, he could do so without saying a word should he wish.

“Would you like me to join you?” It seemed as if, for a moment at least, Laxus contemplated it, and Freed could not help the way his heart dropped in his chest when the dragon slayer shook his head and walked out without a word.

_“You will never be anything more.”_


	4. Smothered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have SUCH a weakness for these two...I couldn't hurt them TOO bad...
> 
> Gajeel/Levy, prompt 'smothered'

She had it under control, was actually winning for the first time in what felt like forever, and Levy could not help the small surge of elation that drove through her as the mage before her fell back with a small whimper, fear in his cerulean eyes as he just barely dodged her fire attack.

Eyes, she thought with a flicker of amusement, that matched her own hair.

The boy was perhaps a handful of years younger than her, and clearly far less experienced. She wondered why he had chosen to join a dark guild, to effectively throw his life away, yet it was not her place to ask. Not yet, at least, not until he lay defeated at her feet.

_At her feet._ The thought sent another thrill through her, smile widening into a grin.

The fist came out of nowhere, her opponent flying backwards and smashing into a tree trunk with a sickening crunch. Levy’s spell died on her lips as she stared, dumbfounded, at the grinning form of Gajeel, who stood where her opponent had just been.

“What-”

“You can thank me later.” His smirk was infuriating, and for the first time since they became friends, since before even that, she wanted to punch the expression from his face.

_His stupid, handsome face._

“ _Thank_ you?” Levy spluttered, her voice an undignified squeak. “I _had_ that, I was _winning_.” She shouldn’t be this upset, should not let it bother her to such a degree, yet she had been so sure that she would finally be able to do something for herself for once; the disappointment was crushing.

“Sure you were, shrimp.” Gajeel’s hand landed atop her head, ruffling blue strands out of place. Ordinarily, she would have ignored it, let him do as he pleased. Instead, Levy knocked the offending arm away, glaring up at the dragon slayer as he raised a non-existent brow at her uncharacteristic display of irritation.

“I _was_ , and if you’d taken five seconds to assess the situation rather than rushing headlong into a battle where you _weren’t needed_ , you would know that.” She fumed, cheeks flushing as her anger grew into a tight little ball in her chest. “You’re _smothering_ me.”

“Five second might have been long enough for him to finish you off.” The growl in his tone was dangerous, yet they both knew it was not aimed at her.

“Is that what you think?” Levy huffed, some of the anger morphing into a pain that ached just below her heart. “That I can’t be left alone for five seconds, that I’m that _incapable_ of looking after myself? Is that how _little_ you trust me, Gajeel?”

“It’s not about that, of course I trust you. I trust you with my life.” Brutally honest, and he may not have uttered the words at all if any save the unconscious enemy mage were present with them. This was Gajeel, this was the only way he knew how to show any sort of affection, how to _care_.

“But you don’t trust me with my own.” There were tears gathering at the corners of her eyes, and Levy swiped them away angrily, her frustration mounting. She could see the way Gajeel’s fingers twitched, aching to reach out to her, to show the affection he kept so brutally locked away. “Let me tell you something; I managed just fine before you came along, and I’ll be just fine after you’re gone.” _After you leave._

“Levy-”

“Don’t.” She replied, turning her back on him so he would not see her cry. “Just, don’t.”


	5. Past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason, this ended up being a direct sequel to chapter one. Oops. Natsu-centric with vague references to Natsu/Gray. Prompt - past.

The ground below was firm at his back, yet softer than it perhaps should have been, any chill having been chased away long since by the gentle rays of the mid-afternoon sun. A warm breeze passed overhead, rustling the leaves within the trees above, pink petals - a shade lighter than his hair - blown free by the gentle gust and fluttering down to lay upon the roots and grass below. Spring was in full bloom, the trees heavy with flowers, and he almost felt bad for not being able to fully appreciate the beauty of it.

He felt lost. Lost, yet somehow precisely where he was supposed to be, as though he had arrived early to the party and everyone else was still missing.

“Were you waiting for someone?” He hadn’t heard her approach, yet when Natsu glanced over to his left, he found that he was no longer alone. The girl was certainly on the short side, perhaps only reaching Natsu’s chest were he to stand to greet her. Her long blonde hair rippled slightly as the wind combed through the delicate strands, and he pondered for a moment on the flowing pink dress that matched the blossoms overhead.

“I don’t know.” He finally replied, the girl’s smile stretching as he glanced away from her, attention returning to the endless blue sky and waving branches of the trees. “Maybe.”

“Do you mind if I wait with you for a while, then?” It didn’t look as though she was looking for a response, or had decided herself what his reply would be, seating herself beside Natsu and pulling her knees to her chest, bare feet resting on the hem of her dress. They sat for a while in a companionable silence, Natsu watching the occasional wisps of white cloud pass by overhead while she stared at something in the middle distance.

“Do I know you from somewhere?” It did not feel like breaking the silence, as much as simply stating a question they both knew was inevitable. The familiarity was almost like an itch, and Natsu wasn’t certain quite where to scratch, yet it bothered him regardless.

“I don’t know.” The girl replied, turning to look at him. “Do you?” He thought for a long time on that, memories filtering and falling away, as grains of sand in his palm. Those few he could still grasp, he kept hold of as tightly as possible, yet even as he did so, too many others slipped away.

“I’m not sure.” He finally conceded, mind conjuring another blonde head and broad smile. A different girl, warmth spreading throughout his chest at the not-quite memory. A key, and he wasn’t certain what that meant, not for the moment at least. “What’s your name?”

“Mavis.” She replied, plucking at a blade of grass by her feet, seemingly completely at ease speaking with a stranger so openly. But then again, so was he, and Natsu supposed Mavis likely felt the same sense of familiarity that he did. “And you’re Natsu.”

“You know me.” It wasn’t a question, yet she answered anyway, with a brisk nod of her head and another twinkling smile that was perhaps too knowing.

“Yes.” She seemed to be pondering her next question, and Natsu was in no hurry, shifting slightly to pillow his hands behind his head. “How long do you think you’ll wait?” 

“Until I know what I’m waiting for.” Natsu replied, with a certainty that he was surprised to feel. “Are you going to wait with me?”

“For a time.” Mavis nodded, and Natsu wondered why he could not hear any birdsong. He must have voiced his thoughts aloud, as her smile dropped and a deep sadness filled her gaze, triggering a pang of regret from within his chest. “There are no birds here.” He almost tried to reach out to her, to offer comfort that he did not truly understand, and found himself missing the melodic twittering all the more.

“I think I’m waiting for my friends.” He finally decided, and the thought did not feel wrong. Long red hair, silken to the touch and yet never tangled even in the heat of battle. She had punched him, once, for trying to touch it. A deadly fairy who seemed almost impossible, and he wondered if she might have been a figment of his imagination. Yet there, too, was the same familiarity, and the word _nakama_ stuck out in his mind, though he could not fathom what it meant.

“Yes, I think you might be right. They’ll come, I’m sure of it.” She sounded sure, and Natsu knew she spoke the truth. He let his lips twist up into a smile, the first in longer than he dared to remember, and it felt so foreign on his face.

“I hope so.” Natsu hummed, shutting his eyes against the warm glare of sunlight. “I miss them.” Dark hair, spikes softer than his own, with deep blue eyes and a wicked grin. Soft lips, gentle fingers that could form a fist too easily, fighting and loving in a single breath. Ice against his skin, and a fire burning so deeply within his heart that it might never go out. Someone special, someone important, and Natsu could not even remember his name.

“They miss you too.” When he opened his eyes again, she was gone, and Natsu lay upon the grass and waited.


	6. Nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I know, I'm even LATER with this one :/
> 
> Day six, prompt 'nightmare' - Erza/Jellal

There was stone at her back and metal at her front, a box made for a singular purpose, and Erza was experiencing it first hand. It was not the first time, her fists much smaller the last time she had found herself in there, hammering on the thick metal door that hemmed her in. There was a slit above her head, too high to see out of as a child, and it seemed to have grown with her, still too far out of reach. It provided some small amount of light, enough to keep madness at bay, the edges of her knuckles scarcely visible in the low light as the pounding against the door took its toll, knuckles torn bloody.

The air was thick and heavy, nigh-on unbreathable, laden with a dust that seemed to fill her lungs, choke her. It was worse, in that space, the scent of decay nauseating and she could feel the swirl of panic in her chest. The only sound was that of her own rapid breathing and the constant clang of her knuckles as she fought to be free, desperate and frightened.

She wasn’t sure, for the moment, what she had to be frightened of, yet Erza was utterly terrified. Her heart hammered in her chest, blood pounding in her ears as she fought against the gripping darkness of the upright tomb. It was small, large enough for perhaps an average-sized adult to fit into the tight space with some effort. For Erza though, small as she was at the time, she had room to move, to breathe, yet not to sit.

It had been hours since they had locked her in there, perhaps days, time stretching endlessly on. She should have needed food, water, yet Erza was aware of nothing other than her need to escape the small, torturous prison.

Footsteps, outside, and she shrank back away from the door. There were voices, yet she could not work out what they might be saying.

“No, please don’t!” She knew that voice, recognised it instantly, blood running cold as the heavy thud of a body reverberated across the metal door in front of her, a cry of pain sounding far closer than it should have.

“Jellal!” She was back against the door, then, scratching and hitting and pounding against the metal, screaming desperately to be let out, for them to stop, for _something_.

“Erza.” Jellal’s gasp was one of pain, and there was the sickening crunch of bone. “Erza, help me, _help me!_ ” There was the sound of what she now knew to be rending flesh, a sickening gurgle, then nothing.

The door before her flew open, the light blinding in its intensity, and Erza raised an arm to shield herself from the impossible brightness. Something wet and heavy and warm was shoved in beside her, the door shut and locked as swiftly as it had been opened. No, not something, someone. The space was much tighter with two of them, and for a moment Erza thought she might be pleased for some company. “Jellal?” He wasn’t moving, and as she waited Erza realised she could hear no sound save her own breathing.

Her screams were muted within the tiny room, arms wrapped around her friend, her _love_ , as the heat slowly seeped from his mutilated corpse until he was cold and stiff against her. Still she cried, anguish and heartache turning her throat hoarse, the stench of blood and death overpowering.

“ _Erza_.” She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. She had nowhere to go in the tight space, as cold hands gripped at her.

_“Erza.”_

* * *

Erza shot up in bed with a yell, hands fisted in the covers, an ice-cold sweat dragging shivers from her body as she hunched over herself, swallowing down the rising bile. Gentle yet strong arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her close, and she could not help but lean back into the comforting embrace.

“A nightmare?” Lips pressed against her left temple, and Erza sighed against the solid warmth, letting her eyes slide shut as her head fell back against Jellal’s shoulder.

“A dream.” She replied softly, feeling a bone-deep weariness overtake her. “It was just a dream.” And perhaps, if she continued to repeat it, it might become the truth.

No, it _had_ only been a dream, a twisted wreck of memories she would rather not hold. It had not been Jellal that day, had not been his body pressed against her own in that tiny space, heat slowly draining from the lifeless form. She had that much to hold onto, at least.


End file.
